Like a Child

I wonder what it's like to look through the eyes of THIS child. He's at an age where he can't really communicate his feelings with words. He is fascinated with EVERYTHING and is always checking it out to see how it works. I don't think it's too much longer before he starts taking his toys apart and trying to put them back together. He's super smart, very observant, and equally as curious. Yet he is easy going, generally well behaved, and ready to explore the world at a moment's notice.

This morning has been a fantastic one. He's been so happy and cheery that I can't help but gather him up into my arms and squeeze as tight as I can. I try to kiss him all over his face while I do this. I keep thinking that in a few years, I won't be able to take such liberties with affection, so I try to hold onto this moment, RIGHT NOW.

Even though everything has been so great this morning, I find myself feeling weighed down by the stresses in my life. We hear news today on whether or not our new house passed the appraisal. If it didn't, then that means we can't get a loan for the house. If we can't get the loan for the house, then we can't get that house. I'm not so sure what happens if we can't get that house, I don't really know what we'll do. These thoughts are on my mind. Plus our truck has broken down and is in great need of the kind of love that only money can buy. So even though this morning has been so great, I find that thinking outside of this moment brings me stress.

It makes me think of when Jesus told people to not worry. In my own "paraphrased" version, he's pretty much saying, "Don't worry... I've got this." There's a part that says, "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:34) Today's trouble is enough for today. If I keep worrying about what will happen tomorrow and the next day and the next day, on top of the things I worry about today, obviously I'm going to be feeling exactly how I am right now. Overwhelmed, stressed, worried, unable to enjoy the present.

So right now, I choose to live in the TODAY and the RIGHT NOW! If I do this, then my son gets the best of me.

So as I listen to my son making fart noises in the other room, the thought strikes me that just as I rely on God to take care of our situation, to take care of the unknown and the scary things, my son is relying on me to take care of him. He has absolute trust that everything will be alright because Mom and Dad "got this." Because of that absolute trust, he's not worrying about anything. He doesn't worry about eating or what he'll wear, or where he'll live, or how he'll get to the grocery store. He's thinking about how fun those noises are to make and about how fun those toys are to play with.

I want to be like him when I grow up!